Tuesday, 9 February 2010

An End to War

The time has come for all human beings to collectively agree that we must love one another. This, when properly enforced, should immediately bring an end to all wars, terrorist actions, political insurgencies, revolutions, disorderly conduct, arguments, greed, theft, disobedience, non-compliance, noncooperation, unwillingness, recalcitrance, obstinacy, stubbornness, name calling, obstreperousness, defiance, insubordination, strikes, mutiny, ponzi schemes, religious disobedience, pestering and/or bullying, immorality, lies, wickedness, sin or sinfulness, misbehaviour, naughtiness. Differences in opinions and any other forms of negative behaviour will not be tolerated and must now be based on love.

Effective immediately all people will be required to immediately forgive themselves and their neighbours, regardless of the nature of their offences, past or present. All weapons must be turned in at the nearest smelter where they will be turned into agricultural tools. These same tools will be used to reverse the effects of global warming by planting trees on all city parking lots.

At the same time, everyone will be considered equal regardless of their social position or cultural background. All salaries will be frozen until a common universal wage can be established. Persons who have earned excessive salaries, bonuses or have cheated on their income tax, will be required to hand in their monies and any other material possessions, at the nearest post office. Professional sports and entertainment personalities who have earned more than the lowest annual income in Somalia will be expected to liquidate all their assets and deposit same at the nearest tax office.

Unemployment will no longer be tolerated. Everybody will be free to choose an occupation of their liking subject to the necessary job qualification. Schooling will be free and will not require tests, marks or grading. Working hours will be regulated so employees will no longer be needed to work nights and not more than 20 hours per week. All employers will be expected give their employees paid holidays of not less than three months holidays/year. All workplaces must meet a minimum five star rating as monitored by Michelin for Hotels and Motels. These same facilities will feature free child care for all workers and their families. Health care under these conditions will probably not be necessary but will be freely available for any emergencies.

Finances for this proposal will be quickly drawn from the closing of all military institutions and local enforcement agencies such as jails, reform schools etc. All gambling institutions will also be required to pay out a guaranteed win to each customer. The Bicycle Gaming Card Company as sole provider will from here on only print cards and manufacture dice that will produce a perfect winning hand to each participant.

This scheme to end all wars cannot fail as all those who refuse to participate will be promptly shot and eliminated . . . . . . .

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